So to recap, my fiancée and I are currently debating wedding venues. Should we have it in DC or Maryland (hopefully, MD will legalize soon), factor being the cost. I told my father after our dramatic Christmas trip back up north, thankfully he is on aboard. I have my maid of honor – well, I didn’t officially ask her; we just knew that she as going to assume her rightful place (LOL) right next to me. I am going to my first LGBT wedding expo here in Atlanta this Sunday – I will be taking plenty of pictures – and then I’ll be going somewhere to watch the Superbowl (see how I prioritize?).
Now the hard part is coming, saving up money for the wedding. Our budget is going to be S10, 000 and I’m going to try my best to tow that line, which is why I’m leaning more towards having the wedding in Baltimore over DC; while at the same time, I’m trying my best not to panic.
$10,000 is a big chunk of change to me but I feel when it comes to the wedding industry it is seen as laughable. I am worried that when some things fall through the cracks (which they will, it just happens) that the end results might bite us on the butt. My main concern is with food and alcohol because of how damn expensive it is. I have already started my hand wringing, so thinking of my sanity, I happily signed over this task to the fiancée and she seems to be enjoying it.
Yet, I still have concerns. I did see some of the estimates and I had to laugh because I couldn’t believe some of the pricing. I’m all for paying for good service but some of the pricing seemed to be a little far-fetched. So that got my mind a-thinkin’ about ways to trim the fat when it comes to our catering budget. Okay, so I have to ask you all out there, is it so wrong to have a short reception and then choose an after party nightspot? I’ll explain my reasoning in a bit because currently the boo and I are not seeing eye-to-eye on this concept.
This is where I’m coming from our wedding is going to be on the small side (50 people, if we’re lucky) but our friends and family both eat and drink A LOT. I mean A LOT, A LOT – my brother alone can probably eat for a family of 4 by himself and I don’t even want to think about the open bar situation. So knowing that if you give folks unlimited options, they will indulge themselves on an unlimited scale, I am already concerned about the bill. So I mentioned to Lash that maybe we should just skip the sit down dinner and instead, pass around appetizers and limit the bar to beer, wine, and soda. Then afterwards, we can go out to a bar or club and dance (or drink) the night away. My perception being that if we offer decent amount of appetizers, people would still get food and having a beer, wine, and soda bar there will also be drink on hand but the dent to our pockets won’t be as treacherous.
Still, I don’t want to come off as cheap and I do believe we should offer food and some type of libation but do we really need a buffet, a formal dinner or full open bar? I just know right now, the food is averaging us around $5000 from the assortment of caterers that we have been in contact with and that is even after negotiating. Do people notice this? I have only been to two weddings and I really don’t remember having food at the first one and at the second, they had their reception at a Chinese buffet.
Are there any other options to look into?
I’m in the midst of planning my own Maryland wedding, so here are my thoughts – Catering is often ridiculously expensive (especially around DC), but rolled into the costs are renting the tables, chairs, linens, plates, barware, etc… If your venue comes with tables & chairs, that saves you cost. A lot of catering companies will roll in the rentals at a certain rate for silver & plates – see if you can go up or down, find a better price renting on your own, etc… Our caterer provided linens free of charge. You also save providing your own beer & wine (Costco’s a great resource, even if it is a drive to get to the one in VA with cheap booze). A lot of weddings do a standard of beer/wine/champagne & maaaybe a signature cocktail & no one bats an eye.
A lot of catering places are willing to work with a small budget. You might not get more than a buffet of two main dishes, a couple of sides and some salad, but do you need/want more than that? If you’re honest with them and say ‘we’re looking to have this many people, we want to spend this much including rentals, staff, etc… but not including this,’ places will either be able to work with you or will not be worth your time.
Good luck!
A couple suggestions…
Find a venue that allows you to bring in your own alcohol. It is much cheaper for you to buy it at wholesale prices and bring it in yourself than to have the caterer provide it.
Also, consider buying your own appetizers or making your own. I have been to several weddings, in which people have done this and it was very nice.
Hope this helps!
@Christina – I will see if we can supply some of the linens. I know one place has chairs but how much they charge for using their plates, cups, etc is INSANE. I’m still going through the proposals, even though my fiancee is going to handle that primarily. Thanks for the insight though and YES, we will be driving to the cheap Costco and VA. Lash is from there so I’m sure she knows where that Costco is!
@jordann – I am definitely trying to find a place that will let us do that. I have never thought about making our own appetizers or buying them. We will hopefully be able to find a place where we can buy the booze, so maybe we can buy something like that in bulk?? I dunno…why do folks have to eat!!! ;-)
I totally get being overwhelmed by prices for catering in DC/Baltimore. I definitely don’t think you have to have a full dinner and open bar. The only thing you really need is something cake like and something punch like and you’re good. I think your ideas to limit the food and drinks make total sense and would make for one heck of a party. Every wedding that I have been to with a separate after party has been a blast. You can bring your own booze to the AVAM by the way…just sayin.
My partner are currently in the same phase as you are. We have a guest list of about 50-60 people who love to eat and drink.
I have a couple of suggestions for you that you may find helpful because it is for us.
- look into a caterer willing to do a buffet style service.
- keep the menu simple. 2 entrees, a starch side, a veggie side, salad, and bread
- buy your own alcohol from costco/bevmo (the 1 cent sale!)
- hire a bartender (through the same caterer and you can usually cut a deal.)
we live in California and I can tell you that the wedding premiums here are high.
What may also help is finding someone off craigslist to supply linens.
Don’t go through the caterer for flatware/utensils/barware if you can help it. They usually charge you more when you can get it directly from their source for a cheaper price. With 50 people you can easily pick up some of these items and save yourself the cost.
Hope this is helpful
Of course you can have appetizers and a limited bar if that’s what you want–it’s your wedding. The expectation of dinner/cake/dancing/open bar is a relatively recent phenomenon, and just because The Knot says you should do it that way does not make it so. ;) There’s a great post about self-catering a desserts only reception at http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/04/self-catering-your-wedding-the-dessert-reception/, and I suspect that if you browse around old blog entries there, you’ll come across many other non-dinner receptions. It’s great to have a party for your guests, but there’s no law that says it has to include a plated 4 course dinner with a choice of steak or lobster. Do what works for you, your fiancee, and your budget. Also, if you’re considering any self-catering, make sure you double-check with venues to see if that’s allowed. Some places may require that you use licensed caterers (and/or bakers, for cakes) because of liability concerns.
I too am having my wedding in DC area for about 40 people. Venues alone in the DC/MD area are expensive and once you throw the catering in, things start to sky rocket. I liked the idea of having it at the Longview Gallery in DC as it had the modern/industrial/artsy feel, but things became far too expensive when the venue didn’t provide anything but the space. I then began looking at hotels around the area in which I found to be a lot cheaper. Most of the hotels I looked at included tableware, linens, the reception food, etc etc. I finally decided that I want to have the reception at the Lorien Hotel & Spa in Old Town Alexandria and the ceremony in DC (where it’s legal). The price ranges from $80-$100 p.p. depending on what you want on your reception menu. This doesn’t just include a 4 course dinner, but includes 4 different hors d’oeuvres before the reception, a custom designed wedding cake, massage, complimentary suite for the evening, linens, tables, dinnerware, the event space itself, etc. etc. We’re having ours on the Presidential Suite Terrace which fits about 50 people; it overlooks the rooftops in Old Town and you can also see the George Washington monument. We plan on having it at sunset. But all in all for the wedding itself with decor is going to cost approx. $5000. I’m getting a luxurious wedding for a cheap price. And I believe they charge the “open-bar” by the hour if you get their house drinks which in itself has a decent selection. You can’t beat that price for a luxury hotel and 4 star dinner! So you should totally look at hotels which include everything from the food to providing linens. If you don’t have a venue yet, there are plenty of hotels out there that have indoor as well as outdoor spaces. Hope this helps and you’ll be saving $$$$!! =)
@Wasabi – The AVAM might be in front runner. I’m leaning more towards buying the booze.
@Gloria – Thanks for the insight. I will definitely look into renting linens and finding flatware and place settings at a cheaper cost.
@Becky – You are right, it is our wedding and honestly I’m fine with the small reception. Convincing the other bride is going to be tricky. She is more into all that than I am but with the nickel and diming, we shall see how it turns out. Either way, I want the after-party spot.
@Ally – Your wedding sounds wonderful! I am hoping to stumble upon some hidden gems somewhere. I believe we have the places narrowed down but if the right place happens to come along, we won’t say no. I can’t believe we will be booking the venue within the next couple of months!
Thanks everyone for your feedback. It was appreciated!
@Everyone- I am so happy that I am not the only one with more than a few ? marks on my list. We live in NC but will be getting married in DC. I have been looking at the Spirit of Washington for ceremony and reception. Realizing that we are leaving the next day for honeymoon, they seem to have a few package that will fit into our budget which is around that same as Cynthia’s.
Has everyone set a date yet?
@Shanta – How much did the Spirit of Washington run you? Inquiring minds (namely ME) would like to know!
@Cynthia,
After looking at everthing that is included it maybe about 5k, but that takes care of venue for ceremony and reception, food, entertainment, cake (if you dont have you own). You just have to decided on the boat, time of day, and number of guests. Take a look at http://www.entertainmentcruises.com.