I submitted my So You’re EnGAYged blogger application on January 22, 2011 and my first blog went live on March 21. It is crazy that almost 8 months have gone by since I started detailing my wedding plans here. And now, I am posting for the last time. Sad times.
But, what has not been a sad time is connecting with all of you and getting your advice from what should go in our water glasses to questions of tradition and etiquette. It was also cool to get married; for real and all kinds of legal.
Well, before I get to the my wedding planning/blogging experience precis, I thought I would share some honeymoon pictures and thoughts.
We went to Aruba for our honeymoon and it was amazing. We had a room right on the beach and there was a hammock right outside of our room. The water was warm and the sun was warmer. It was the perfect type of vacation after months of stressful planning.
Dave of course needs a good book to read when traveling, and Betty White’s bio did the trick!
This is taken from the lounge chair right outside our room. Dave does have a good eye for pictures!
If you remember my post about our Long Island Thunderstorm, this is the handmade cabana outfit my childhood neighbor made us. Dave has a coordinating one!
One of the coolest things about Aruba is that the sun sets at approximately the same time every day of the year, right around 6:30 p.m. This was one of the best parts of the trip; grabbing a cool drink and watching the sun set.
The north side of the island is very rocky and has a desert feel. We went horse back riding along this area and along the beach. It was, for sure, a highlight of the trip. Although the trotting does damage a boy in a particular way that lingers.
Yes, yes, the perfunctory write-in-the-sand-to-mark-the-occasion picture. But, hey, when in Rome, or whatever.
When we got home from the honeymoon, the last thing we promised ourselves is that we would go out to a nice dinner to bookend the whole experience. This was nice, because we had enough time away from the stress of it all to really reflect on the whole experience. Dave looks pretty hot, and relaxed, right?
My Final Thoughts
To change the tone here a little bit, I wanted to talk about some more serious final thoughts about our wedding and marriage.
First, one thing I never did talk about here, was right before I started blogging, we lost our dog, Mandy. It was sudden, and we planned to have her in the wedding in some way. She was there though, in both spirit and in picture. Often when I wrote blogs here I did open up about my feelings on a variety of issues, but understood that people really wanted to hear about things connected to the wedding planning process. But since I feel a bit more connected to you all now, I thought I would share a tribute video we made for her. I think in part I did not talk about her because of how much it still really hurts to not have her in our lives.
Beyond the fact that I LOVE this picture, I also think it sums up all of our reasons for having our wedding: to be surrounded by the ones we love. Save for one nephew, this is the totality of both of our families. I am not sure I can fully appreciate nor articulate what it meant to us to be within and around so much love, and not just for that day.
Photo by Calypso Rae Photography
But the reality is that we are now onto the married part of the wedding planning. I read/heard the following the other day that went something like “people should put more thought and planning into their marriage than their wedding day.” This is so true. Because it really is just one day. One amazing, beautiful day, but still, just 6 or so concentrated hours. It is the happily-ever-after part that I think people forget to worry about. And it ain’t easy, for sure.
Dave and I are lucky that we found each other and we have worked on our marriage, and settled into our life, well before we got married. I am sure marriage advice abounds, but if I could offer one, succinct thing, it would be this: find the reason why you fell in love, and remember that in times when your present feelings of love might be otherwise. Nothing about the pairing of two people is easy. As a breed we tend to be selfish and unable to recognize another person’s reality. And while the idea of two people spending the rest of their life together is beautiful in the abstract, people have to be more practical in the specific to make it work.
What I think the below picture illustrates is what I think makes love and life work. To steal a scene from Love! Valoure! Compassion!: (said by Bobby, who is blind in the movie, from the back seat of Perry and Aurthur’s car) “I think…you love each other very much. I think you will stick it out, whatever. I think right now you’re holding hands. I think that when Perry has to take his hand from yours, Arthur, to steer in traffic, he puts it back in yours as soon as he can. I think this is how you always drive. I think…this is how you go through life.”
Photo by Calypso Rae Photography
So, I bid you ado, from this wedding planning journey, now onto our life fulfilling one. If you care, please follow me at My Parent’s Son, my blog I post to from time to time. You can also follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/MichaelMancini5
It has been what I can only classify as a pleasure to spend some time with you all.
Thank you.
Hi guys – Congratulations on the wedding !!!
I was actually looking for a website that could help me with a name for my next blog (preparing for our wedding) and came across your blog.
Glad that I did, because I had a good squiz at afew of the blogs and loved reading them.
Don’t stop :)
Thanks…good luck with your blog
Congrats, Michael! And thank you… It’s been a pleasure to be on the journey this far with you.
Thanks! Always in love with your cali country kitsch wedding and photos!
Wow ! I never thought of having a honey moon in Aruba ! Gives me an idea for my honeymoon. Thanks so much for this post. Love ya all !
It was lovely! And gay friendly
Congratulations, I loved following your blog and your honeymoon sounds amazing!! Good luck with everything :o)
love this!
Congratulations! The last shot of you guys holding hands is such a nice emotional end :)
TThanks that is one of our fav shots
Ahhh! Beautiful honeymoon… beautiful final thoughts. You brought me to tears and summed up what I think a lot of same-sex couples dream of, not the flashy wedding but the legal marriage. A wonderful quote as well. Congratulations Michael and Dave. I will miss your wedding blog.
Thanks Amanda! It was kind of hard to right the final bit. Glad you enjoyed it!
Guys I just wanted to offer my complete congratulations!!! My wife and I went through a lot of these same things just over three years ago and we feel just as blessed!!! I pray you two have a wonderful love filled life together!!
An excerpt from an English paper I wrote:
While gays and lesbians are a minority in this country, that does not mean they are second class citizens.But just as all Americans have the right to free speech and bear arms, so should every couple, whether gay or straight, be afforded the fundamental right to marry and receive the benefits of that union. That’s right. Marriage is determined to be a fundamental right according to the United States Constitution. This means that all human beings within the jurisdiction of the Constitution are entitled to marry just as they are to equal protection of the law or even to vote.
Marriage is a personal, sacred, and serious vow two people make as a statement of love and commitment towards each other – no one else. It should be embraced and supported especially in a time where divorce and domestic violence rates are so high. This is not an issue that should just be pushed aside and denied because the two people that love each other so deeply happen to be of the same sex.
I hope that we continue to move forward in our push towards equality, and are soon successful in that plight.
Congrats again!!
Thanks so much and for sharing your thoughts on the subject.
Thank you for allowing us to take this journey with you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Thank you! It was a wonderful journey!
Aruba looks great!
nice blog. Happy new year to everyone from Italy!
beautiful final :X great !
I just happened upon this blog by accident. It was posted on another LGBT site I am part of.
Started to scroll down and then all of a sudden said “Holy crap, the Lincklaen House!”
Although I live in Canada, I once dated someone in Oneida, NY (but grew up in Cazenovia). So I know that place well. Been there for Sunday bunch a few times.
Great photos. Congrats!
Thanks…it is a great place!
Michael and David,
I just wanted to let you both know how beautiful I thought your wedding was. The pictures, color scheme, and invitations were all great. The best thing about this blog isn’t the wedding itself, it is that you both are so comfortable with sharing such a personal day, with the entire world. The love shared between the two of you is so obvious, and I love that. I am not gay myself but I do support anyone who wants to be with whomever it is they love. I could care less what anyone does in their personal life, to each their own. I’m happy you both are so relaxed and willing to share your gayness!! I think happiness is the key to life and I’m glad you’ve both found what makes you happy. Congratulations on your new marriage and I wish you the best future in growing old together.
Sincerely,
Francesca
Thank you Francesca! We are all about attention, in any form, so this blog site worked out for us! We spent a lot of time thinking on the colors etc., so glad you saw the connectivity. We share are gayness where ever and whenever we can…:-)