As our big day gets closer, Em and I continue to finalize our wedding plans. With our save-the-dates coming out soon with my name listed as André, we’ve been thinking about the logistics of our wedding. I had originally planned on legally changing my name to André before the wedding but wasn’t planning on changing my gender marker until sometime after the wedding. This would mean that our ceremony in Maryland would be just that, a civil ceremony with no legality to it. The plan was to eventually get legally married as a “heterosexual couple” after I changed my gender marker.
But, par for the course for Em and me, things have changed yet again. We have since decided that we would speed the process up and try to get legally married on our actual ceremony date. Which means my changing my name and gender marker and getting our officiant ordained.
We’re working on my name and gender change in hopes that we can get it all accomplished by 9-10-11. I have contacted the legal services staff at Whitman Walker Clinic, the local LGBT health clinic in D.C., to help walk me through all the steps that I will need to take. I have also scheduled my surgery for April 5th, which just happens to be 3 days after my birthday. I’d also like to get my gender marker changed on my Florida birth certificate however it isn’t necessary that I change it before the ceremony as my passport and driver’s license will suffice for the “legal” wedding.
All that being said, on a personal level, Em and I are excited that we will be able to marry legally and take advantage of all the benefits of a legally wed “heterosexual couple.” We are, however, angered by the fact that we are now able to legally marry and have our marriage be recognized in every state, only because I decided to transition. It is unfair and infuriating that not everyone is able to legally marry whomever they choose no matter their legal gender. Rights for LGBT people have definitely come a long way, but clearly things are still not where they need to be.