I briefly mentioned before that I don’t have the best relationships with my dad’s extended family. In fact, I really have no relationship with them and truth be told, it doesn’t bother me at all. Being that all of them except one claim religion when it is convenient for them, I’m sure they would love nothing more to decline any invitation of mine if given the opportunity.
Yet, my issue doesn’t stem from them but more from my dad’s second wife. I will refrain from going into detail about how I truly feel about her because I really could go on all day. This is going to be a totally random post but one that I have been marinating on a lot lately, I just want to make sure I don’t sound like I’m entering bridezilla territory. Okay, so I see my dad’s second wife as unstable and our relationship is shaky, which is putting it nicely. As I discussed before, my father agreed to come to wedding and perform his ‘fatherly’ duties, which makes me very happy but that also means she’ll be coming along for the ride. I know that the wedding won’t be an all day affair but she just really knows how to ruin a damn good time. I have witnessed this numerous times and I just know the type of person that she is.
For example, when I went up there in December – she kept complaining about how I ruined her entire “wedding”. I use quotes because they were already married since they went off and eloped and now she wanted to be queen for a day. Now, when they had their church wedding, I was in a very unhappy place. I lost my mother to cancer less than a year ago, I was in Georgia alone and things between my father and I were touchy. I actually didn’t want to be in any pictures and tried my best to stay out of them but from what she said, “I ruined everything!”
Flash forward to December 2010 and she obviously hadn’t let that go. Now, my issue with all this and my upcoming wedding is that after she heard about my upcoming nuptials, she decided she wanted to let us use their house for the reception (I have yet to say anything) and how happy she is. Bear in mind, that less than 24 hours before then she was griping about how I ruined her wedding. To put it blankly, I don’t trust her, I don’t like her and I don’t want her at the wedding. I also worry about what will happen when it comes to pictures of the wedding and ceremony. I realize that is a little far out but I was seriously considering telling her that I didn’t want her in any of the photos. Of course, I know that is not the best option but I really don’t put it past her to ruin something just to prove a point – she’s done things similar before.
My question is, how do skirt around a guest that you aren’t crazy about being there? Now, I don’t focus on this a lot – I am only bringing this up because I was talking to one of my best friends about family boundaries and she mentioned it. Mainly because my friend knows about the drama that has existed between us since she and my father got married.
I’m not sure I’m looking for answers but if anyone has had anything similar happen to them or someone they know, please share. I’ll be seeing them both sometime within the next month and I know she’ll want to discuss the wedding with me again. I’m also trying my best not to be petty but every memory I have with this woman has been a bad one basically.
Okay, end of rant. :)