Before proposing to my lovely boo, I never realized how huge the wedding industry was. To put it simply – or at least attempt to – it is like you know that the sun is a big, massive star but you don’t get the full depth of it because you aren’t close to it, that’s how I felt about anything wedding related. I hope that made sense!
Once I proposed to my girl in December and we started our journey figuring out all the ins and outs of getting married, we both realized how much we really didn’t know. If I had it my way, I would just roll up in whatever I felt pretty in that day, have Lash do the same and we just go to the nearest ordained person that could marry us. Renting a place, finding that ordained person, compiling music, finding dresses, colors, attendants, making sure the family would support the cause, finding a state where we could legally do the deed, etc. etc. Suffice to say, our list is now hella long. We are slowly ticking off the list but we still have WAYS to go.
Thankfully, we have the internet, books, friends and the like to see what others have done with all kinds of budgets, which makes me happy but at the same time – it is slightly bittersweet. I guess I have that silly fear about whether our wedding will be captured so beautifully in pictures. I wonder, if I can get married with $10,000 as my budget as the maximum amount; I know others pull it off effortlessly but that’s them – not me!
And I have to be honest, part of me wants to see a wedding with brides similar to my lady and myself. Some might see it as picky and this thought has even gotten me into a little bit of trouble on this blog, but I can’t help but to be honest. It would be nice – I’m happy that Essence published a blog with two ladies in there and gave us pictures of their wedding. I know that there are black lesbians getting married but dammit, I want to see their pictures – come out of hiding, you have a fan in me!
So do I have inspiration? Yes and no. I have heaps of gorgeous wedding photos but I do I want to see more diversity, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t. I will be honest that my heart beats a little faster when I see the diverse, LGBTQ couples getting their wedding on!
Cynthia, here are some photos from one of ours with black lesbians: http://www.14stories.com/_blog/Weddings_Redefined/post/Boston_Common_Gay_Wedding/
Congrats on your engagement!
I’ve perused around various blogs here and that includes a few of yours from time to time. I’ve been particularly impressed, inspired and awestruck by the selection of beautiful lesbian couples here. I completely understand your dilemma, but it’s a work in progress. I’m happy to see a decent sample of ‘couples of color.’ Congrats on you guys’ engaygment and keep us in the loop with the details of all those things that make being a part of a minority culture interesting and fresh!
Hi Cynthia! I was so excited when I stumbled upon your personal blog! Being from the east coast myself and growing up amongst a rich diversity of ethnicities I mimic your sentiments at times. especially where I live now, feeling like we’re a) the only lesbians in our zipcode and b) knowing I’m the only puerto rican/Indian with a Filipino fiance mix!! I know you have your plate full with moving and wedding planning but maybe there’s a local LGBT group that gets together regularly where you are that offers some diversity in real people/couples you can meet in person and get to know. And maybe those people know even more people. Just a thought!
Hi, Cynthia
I love your blog and checks from time to time to see what is happening lately. My partner and I are an African-American lesbian couple and love to see people like ourselves get married. We have a lot of friends that are married or getting married. Most of my friends have opted not to have a wedding, but go to the JP instead. I personally want all the trapping of a nice fancy elegant weddding. I want my friends to know we are celebrating our love just like any other couple. It is so refreshing to see people of all cultures celebrate the love they have for each other…
Please keep blogging because I will certainly keep reading….
Totally agree- all of it.
The wedding industry is huge and there’s tons and tons of inspiration out there. But there are very few couples of color/interracial couples and even fewer LGBTQ couples. And so I get SO excited when I do find a couple that mirrors us (even in the littlest way)…
I hope that as more LGBTQ weddings become more common and marriage equality spreads we’ll see more and more diverse couples/unique weddings! :)