For us, this one was kind of a no brainer. (Isn’t it nice to breeze through some decisions so you’re free to agonize over flowers?) I think we knew who we wanted to officiate our ceremony before deciding on any other aspect of the wedding.
Neither of us have any strong religious ties, so Sam and I decided to ask a friend who knows us both well and has been there for us over the years.
From 2001-2005, Sam and I were both volunteers at our college’s LGBT resource center. (We were acquaintances for most of that time and didn’t start dating until toward the end of college.) Lis, the Program Director, is just awesome- a great friend and mentor to many of the LGBTQ students on campus. You could show up any time to discuss all the issues and problems that seemed so huge at the time- both personal and academic.
Lis knew us both separately, before we started dating, and was around for the beginning of our relationship. It is very meaningful for us to have someone who was there during our early years together officiate our ceremony as we commit to our future together.
So, we have an out of state, non-clergy officiant. I am currently researching what we will need to make it all legal here in MA, and I will share what I find in a future post!
Who is marrying you? How did you choose? Are you running into any obstacles surrounding making it all official?
Personal photo.
MA is a super easy state to have your friend marry you in! You just need to have your friend apply for a one day designation, which they can only do once per year. They’ll need to fill out the application, pay a small fee, and have a letter of recommendation, but you’re assured that it’s legit (unlike some states where you may have to go the internet ordained route). I’ve done it twice, and it’s a fairly easy process… just make sure you apply with enough time in advance!
http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=gov3modulechunk&L=1&L0=Home&sid=Agov3&b=terminalcontent&f=one_day_marriage_designation_instructions&csid=Agov3
Finding the right officiant for you is super important.. I’m glad you have Lis!
I love that you knew so early on who would officiate your ceremony. Alex and I aren’t religious either, and while we’re having a public official officiate the UK ceremony, one of my best friends will officiate the CA ceremony! :)
I really wanted a friend to marry us, but we decide on a person and ended up with a officiant to make life simpler.
Thanks for the link Jessie! I can check that off my list. :)
So nice for the officiant decision be such an easy one! I love the idea of having a significant mutal friend do the ceremony. Awesome that you had someone like that in your lives.
We had a no-brainer too – my dad is a minister with the United Church of Canada (a very liberal and queer-friendly denomination) and he’ll be doing our upcoming ceremony for us. And we totally lucked out with our city hall officiant at our legal ceremony last year… he turned out to be both gay and a minister for the United Church of Canada too!