Last night, a newly engaged customer of mine and I were ooh’ing and aah’ing over each other’s rings. We were both glowing in excitement about our upcoming big days when she asked, “How long have you been engaged?”
Not a question I’d gotten yet, my answer was off the cuff, “Well, I am engaged to a woman. I proposed to her in April, but she proposed back last weekend. So, I guess 3 months or two weeks!”
(Yes, Alex got down on one knee on July 11th–and now I have a ring! Yeah!)
Since announcing our engagement to anyone who will listen, we have gotten loads of questions about weddings, ceremonies, rings and, most interestingly to me, proposing: Who proposed? How did you decide? Will you both have rings? That sort of thing.
For us, it was just something that came up in our conversations about marriage and felt as natural as two women getting married (i.e. totally natural): we both wanted to propose to each other; we both wanted to be proposed to; and we both wanted rings–but they didn’t have to match.
(Example: Alex’s ring, different designer)
I love that Alex and I proposed to one another and got to do it in our own ways. I asked her parents and then proposed to her where, when and with the ring I wanted. She got to do the same. Now we both have rings we love, and most importantly, shared those moments together that we will never forget.
Of course, each couple has their own engagement story, but the lack of precedence and tradition with same-sex engagements makes it that much more fun to hear the stories! Alex’s sister’s now-civil-partner proposed with a vintage silver band; she then got an unexpected engagement ring (with sparkles) as a birthday present. Another friend casually proposed to his fiance in his office before asking for help with his broken printer; later, they had engagement rings made for themselves. In every moment, it was perfect for each of the couples.
This is why I get excited when people–family, friends or strangers–ask questions about my engagement and impending weddings. Yes, some of the questions can get tiring, but with each reply, I give a big grin: this is me and Alex–and we’re doing it this way because we can!